This Domain For Sale. Contact us for more information.

Self-Preservation Techniques For The Unemployed

Looking for work can be difficult, frustrating, anxiety-provoking, and demeaning.

There are few situations we encounter in life where we feel so powerless. Not only do we have a sense that we have little control over the outcome, but we also feel judged. We become objectified, presented like a colt at a yearling auction or a slave on the bidding block. We walk, we talk, we run around in circles, while the "buyers" look us over, discuss our finer points and weaknesses, and make their decision to buy or reject. We are keenly aware of the competition. There are performance pressures: 30 seconds to make a great first impression, 30 minutes to define ourselves as a person, as a worker, to present a lifetime of skills, experience and knowledge.

We are acutely aware that every word we utter, every body squirm, every gesture, is being observed, assessed, recorded. Regardless of whether we really want the job or not, we want it to be offered as an affirmation that we have worth, that we count. If we attend interview after interview and receive no offers, the demoralization seeps into our subconscious, confirming our deeply defended but strongly entrenched suspicions that we are just "not good enough," that we don't "measure up," that we lack value.

The longer we remain out of work, the more tattered our self-esteem becomes. We start to exhibit that desperate "deer in the headlights" look that makes the likelihood of being offered a position ever more remote.

What can we do to halt this erosion of self-value? How can we survive the challenges of looking for work while keeping our self-confidence, self-value, and self-esteem intact?

Here are three approaches you may find helpful:

1. Don't blame yourself. Economic difficulties, job migration, corporate downsizing, and employer relocation are social realities. Being laid off does not adversely reflect on your personal worth, your skills, your character, nor your value. "If I had been smarter, I'd have seen it coming" thinking leads to self-criticism and a sense that your current plight is somehow of your own making. Put the blame back where it belongs - on an economy that values profits above people and the short term bottom line over long term stability and steady growth.

2. Take time to appreciate yourself. Too often, unemployment carries not only financial pressures but leads to self-destructive thinking: I'm not able to support my family, I'm a loser, I'm not a man, I'm not the superwoman I planned, I don't contribute anything worthwhile to anybody, the world would be better off without me. Since we define so much of what we are by what we do, when we no longer have a title, we lose ourselves. Work, and the income it provides, is important but it is only a part of a whole life, reflecting only a portion of our character, our abilities, our worth. Take the time to remind yourself of your other life roles: husband/wife/significant other, parent, church member, community participant - any roles you play which are not directly related to work. Because you are not temporarily generating an income, and all that stands for, does not mean that you are not contributing significantly in many other areas: to your family, your friends, your community. While reminding yourself of your non-work personal value, make sure that your frustration with job search is not allowed to spill over and poison your other life roles.


3. Reclaim a sense of control. You may be powerless to ensure an appropriate job offer or line up employers who are champing at the bit to take you on, but you do have control over other aspects of your life. Exercising control over anything can re-assert your old balance and generate confidence in your ability to weather the storm. Set up a schedule for yourself which will give you control over your time and your activities, both job search and personal responsibilities, to avert the wasted energy of running in all directions without accomplishing anything. Examine your diet and exercise program and use your extra time to ensure that you are healthy and fit. Explore what the current stress is doing to your relationships and personal interactions and take the time to strengthen personal ties and sources of support, not drive them away in your misery. Review your household budget and identify ways to save, different patterns of spending, and priorities which can be changed.

Yes, being unemployed can be humiliating and depressing and often leads to anxiety, fear, and a permanent sense of insecurity and self-doubt. Using the above and similar strategies can help you emerge from this temporary crisis stronger and with a deeper sense of self and your value, not just as a worker but as a human being.

Virginia Bola operated a rehabilitation company for 20 years, developing innovative job search techniques for disabled workers, while serving as a respected Vocational Expert in Administrative, Civil and Workers' Compensation Courts. Author of an interactive and emotionally supportive workbook, The Wolf at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly ezine, The Worker's Edge, she can be reached at http://www.virginiabola.com


More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Careers & Employment Information:


Related Articles

Job Hunting Tips: Taking Care of Yourself
Looking for work is generally a miserable undertaking. No matter how much education and experience you have, you are in a powerless and vulnerable position.
Sample Resume Objectives: Read, Dont Copy
The resume objective statement is typically something that trips people up.Confronted by the silent challenge of the blank page, most folks Google for "sample resume objectives".
Resumes That Work: 3 Steps to More and Better Interviews
All of us involved with helping you get a new job, whether as third party recruiters or as representatives of a company, are evaluating you for employment are all receiving hundreds of emailed resumes a day. Having done professional search work for more than thirty years, I have seen both resumes change and how they are delivered change.
Tales from the Corporate Frontlines: Career Opportunity and Employee Retention
This article relates to the Career Opportunities competency and explores issues such as internal growth opportunities, potential for advancement, career development importance, and the relationship between job performance and career advancement. Evaluating the Career Opportunities competency in your organization will determine whether your employees believe they have a chance to grow within the organization.
Jesse And Al Should Read This!
Instead of getting all bent out of shape over innocuous remarks made by the President of Mexico, perhaps the Lord and Prince of African-American Ideological Imperialism (that's Lord Jesse and Prince Al) should know just how Americans apply for those jobs they so vehemently claim Mexicans are stealing.The good folks at Careerbuilder.
Top 10 Skills for New World of Work
There are many changes coming in the world of work, such as increased competition, the need for more education and certifications, and the trend to change careers 5-7 times in a lifetime. No matter what job or career path you decide to take, there are some basic skills that all employers look for.
The Dog Days of Job Hunting
Does a headline like this scare you? it should because the consolidation is not over yet.Don't despair just because we are in the "dog days" of job hunting there are action items you can do now to keep yourself primed for.
A Killer Secret To Get Your Cover Letter Read
You're still reading-so I know my title grabbed your attention.Why? Because it 'packed a punch.
Resume Posting: Tips for Jobseekers
Recruiting firms, like most businesses today, must embrace technology in order to prosper. Part of modern recruiting is understanding the value and benefit of internet job boards.
If You Think You Cant Change Course... Youre Right
You've heard the expression that some people see the glass as half full while others perceive the same glass to be half empty? Yesterday I had the opportunity to see this difference in perception in action.
Update Your Resume Today
A friend was just promoted to a position of vice-president of a company. I am happy for him and the first thing I told him after congratulations was "update your resume".
Effective Networking Skills: The Art Of Taking Your Job Search To A Whole New Level
Your network consists of family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and former employers. It also consists of your dentist, your barber or hair stylist, your accountant and your local grocery store manager.
How You Can Find Freelance Writing Employment
How can you find writing jobs? Do you have proven skills that can propel you in the right direction? If so, then why are you looking for fresh vacancies? The best tool to those who have employment histories is to look to the companies that you have already worked for. There, they can help provide you with more work, or point you in the right direction.
Reinventing Yourself for Multiple Careers
In many countries around the globe, people are born into their station in life and hence their professions. It is unnecessary for them to plan a career as they are expected to perform one specific job their entire lives.
Wishing and Hoping
Years after Disneyland was built, after the completion of Walt Disney World, the story goes that someone went up to Mike Vance, Creative Director for Walt Disney Studios and said, "Isn't it too bad Walt Disney didn't live to see this?" Without pausing, he replied, "But he did see it, that's why it's here."If any outside figure influenced my life early on, it was Walt Disney.
Job Interviews: Use the Personal Touch to Get a Job
A study conducted by the Journal of Consumer Research in 1995 showed that sales people who used their prospects' names generated a 239% increase in sales. In today's fast-paced world, that personal touch is even more important.
Career Discovery - Pinpoint Your Ideal Career
Determine your ideal career--one that's in alignment withyour values, passions, and talents--and discover the workyou were born to doCareer discovery is the process by which a person identifiestheir ideal career path, thus saving themselves a lot oftime (and money) by not pursuing career choices that theywill ultimately find unfulfilling. To find your truecalling, you need to dig around and find the things that areimportant to you--now, and in the future.
5 Steps to Standing Out Above the Crowd at Work
Do you feel like one in a million at work - and not in a good way? When you run into your boss in the hallway, do you get the impression she isn't sure who you are? Are the juicy projects always going to someone else?If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you need to raise your work profile. Here are some tips to get you started.
Resume Layouts ... The Hidden Pitfalls
Options for Resume LayoutsThere are many options of available to today's job seeker. With a quick change of graphical elements such as fonts and style, the feel of a resume can change from traditional and conservative to creative and modern.
Mystery Shopping
Mystery shopping is an excellent way to make extra money. In fact, some people make a full time living doing it.



/html>